tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post2454444963366740110..comments2023-05-10T02:49:13.016-07:00Comments on Desperately Seeking Me: WednesdayMehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13321679957417122241noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-86045304828833418772012-02-06T08:08:15.796-08:002012-02-06T08:08:15.796-08:00I'm another stranger offering her support and ...I'm another stranger offering her support and the opinion that ohmygoodness yes, you are absolutely doing the right thing. I'm a people-pleaser too and hate to cause waves or have anyone upset with me. Except when it comes to my daughter. What is best for her (and FAIR for her) would supercede all else.<br />I'm just looking in from the outside of course, but it doesn't surprise me that your ex is mad. He was in control. He decided what he paid. He could make you sweat it out. And now you've turned the tables and he's not making the rules anymore. Plus his new lifestyle is being threatened. <br />You know it's right. You know it's fair. You know it's best for your kids. Just keep repeating that over and over.Lyndsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11191079605746896379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-61195458016814065492012-02-05T13:11:54.761-08:002012-02-05T13:11:54.761-08:0010 years and counting...I have a normal teenager, ...10 years and counting...I have a normal teenager, an amazing life and dang it, I did it alone. Stand tall sister.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05074210220916066284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-65070362437195861262012-02-04T21:14:41.276-08:002012-02-04T21:14:41.276-08:00As someone who has been in your shoes, its not eas...As someone who has been in your shoes, its not easy. Similarly, I do need to go back to a lawyer and get my agreement ammended, but it scares me. Hold your head high and know who you are. His threats are empty. He is trying to hurt you. He thinks if he threatens for joint, you will back down. But you wont. He will be lucky if he gets off NOT owing you back support and half of expenses that he has never paid.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-57829416411668693622012-02-02T14:25:27.917-08:002012-02-02T14:25:27.917-08:00Another stranger, and I feel a little bad, because...Another stranger, and I feel a little bad, because in my previous comment, I said "get a lawyer" four different times. People can be total idiots, and it sounds like being most charitable, that this guy doesn't really understand childsupport. That aside, my parents were divorced when I was two and my father's family did not like my mother and said very hateful things to me. I ended up not having a relationship with them, so your children will see through whatever is going on - stay on the road that's true to you. <br />Wishing you all the best during this ordeal, CAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-29667344007912050162012-02-02T11:12:44.334-08:002012-02-02T11:12:44.334-08:00Ditto what T said. Love you both.Ditto what T said. Love you both.Nikkihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05289027208868303404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-16571964885184312692012-02-02T07:04:26.555-08:002012-02-02T07:04:26.555-08:00Love you too. I would never get through this or an...Love you too. I would never get through this or anything without you T.Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13321679957417122241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-69390326396880470532012-02-02T07:03:48.335-08:002012-02-02T07:03:48.335-08:00You guys and your comments made me cry. Thank you ...You guys and your comments made me cry. Thank you for taking the time to help a "stranger".Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13321679957417122241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-44120983000051915642012-02-02T06:53:03.588-08:002012-02-02T06:53:03.588-08:00I am a stranger, too, but I wanted to confirm that...I am a stranger, too, but I wanted to confirm that your answers are 125% correct. Just keep reading them and repeating them to yourself. Even if you could say them to your ex, he wouldn't understand. He is too self-absorbed in his own world to understand. But, trust me, as Tracey said, your kids WILL understand and they WILL know that you do everything for them .. and that you fought for them .. and that you kept the high road for them. Sooner rather than later, they will understand. I speak from personal experience as a child who was in a similiar situation many, many years ago and my mom fought for us and kept the high road, even in the midst of some horrid situations.<br /> <br />Glad you have a wonderful husband and wonderful friends. Keep leaning on them for support during this time. You'd do the same for them. <br /><br />PS I shut down, too, when I am emotionally overwhelmed. It is NOT a sign of weakness. Even the strong have to breakdown sometimes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-60407536720968022132012-02-02T05:25:50.809-08:002012-02-02T05:25:50.809-08:00Friend of a friend here...and friendly neighborhoo...Friend of a friend here...and friendly neighborhood internet stalker ;-)(I kid...)<br /><br />NEVER doubt that you are strong...<br /><br />True strength is in asking for, and even more importantly, accepting help when you need it. The best way to multiply treasure is by sharing it. I know you *know* this, because you are quick to share your own treasure. It is time for you to allow your loved ones, your family, your friends, your internet stalkers (;-)) to grow their treasure by sharing them with you. Let them shore you up with what they have to offer.<br /><br />Know that you are modeling positive and healthy behaviors for your children, showing them that it is healthy, and right, and normal to count on others, and to let others help you when you need it.<br /><br />I wish you peace. (And that blogger actually *publishes* this comment this time, unlike the previous 3 attempts...)<br /><br />LoniDuchesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06099144334540243602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-74820146262006369202012-02-01T17:19:30.766-08:002012-02-01T17:19:30.766-08:00I love you. I'm here for you. You must do this...I love you. I'm here for you. You must do this because you are their mother, and it is the right thing to do. <br /><br />Someday, someday they will understand. They will understand what you sacrificed. That is my mantra. Hold fast to it on these days. Someday they will understand.Minivan momhttp://www.morethanaminivanmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-42569437617633321772012-02-01T16:08:28.011-08:002012-02-01T16:08:28.011-08:00You know what I hate the most? The feeling that my...You know what I hate the most? The feeling that my judgement is being questioned. I hate thinking that another parent can sweep in and change everything up in response of being held accountable by the parent that day in and day out is always there, always accountable. I worked hard to create a stable environment for my step daughter and show her how a loving family works and all of a sudden when the bio mother is asked to do right by her OWN child she questions me? I could go on but my point is I remember...those were dark times. <br />I'm sorry. <br /><br />JackiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-3616909458052501262012-02-01T16:00:13.799-08:002012-02-01T16:00:13.799-08:00I have been following your blog for awhile. I am ...I have been following your blog for awhile. I am not your friend. I am a complete stranger, an nice stranger, but a stranger none the less. You are completely justified in your actions. You are not a C u next Tuesday. You are not a itchy B. You are an ADULT who is taking care of your responsibilities. Welcome to being a grown up! Why should it be any different for your ex? When you make the choice to have children, you make the choice to get to take care of them, even in divorce. Why should your ex husband get to abandon his financial responsibility to his children and get to go off and live the high life? You are not trying to take advantage of him financially. You just expect him to pay his fair share. If he hasn't already been doing that, he should. You should not feel guilty about it. Don't let him make you feel like a bad person or like you are doing the wrong thing. If anything, it is wrong of him to not provide for the needs of HIS children, too, in a fair, equitable fashion. It sucks that so many women (ME included, by the way) will feel bad, guilty, or try to avoid making others do the right thing because we don't want to cause a problem or be perceived as not being nice. It is not nice of him to get a nice raise and not share the rewards of that with the people he should love the most, his children. I wish you would not waste another minute of your day feeling guilty or bad about this situation, but I realize that this is easier said than done. Just know that you have a complete, but nice, not creepy stranger that is rooting for you!!! You are doing the right thing.Melanienoreply@blogger.com