tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post3735975668208284812..comments2023-05-10T02:49:13.016-07:00Comments on Desperately Seeking Me: Not This TimeMehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13321679957417122241noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-2178406049615519102012-01-29T18:15:13.874-08:002012-01-29T18:15:13.874-08:00I read the post, thinking the entire time, get a l...I read the post, thinking the entire time, get a lawyer, get a lawyer, get a lawyer. So I was happy to see your last line. It's hard to put aside the emotional issues, but the facts are that you agreed to an amount based on certain circumstances and those circumstances have now changed, so it's time to renegotiate the amount. Good luck and all the best to you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-21690782734335901382012-01-26T16:41:53.705-08:002012-01-26T16:41:53.705-08:00I work for an attorney. You can ALWAYS go back fo...I work for an attorney. You can ALWAYS go back for an incerease in support if his employment and financial situation has changed since the divorce. I would do it immediately!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-9452283719001053932012-01-26T05:55:07.412-08:002012-01-26T05:55:07.412-08:00I agree with what Tracey said. It is right for you...I agree with what Tracey said. It is right for you to be standing up for yourself and getting what you and your children deserve.<br />I'm commenting anonymously today. You don't know me in real life, but I follow and comment on Jenny and Tracey's blogs/twitter, etc. <br />I'm in a marriage that... isn't great. Isn't even good, really. There's is no abuse or infidelity (that I know about I guess), but my husband has lost interest and 'checked out' a couple of years ago. We went to counselling, and while he said all the right things when we were there, there was no carry-over. I think he stays because it's easy - I only work part time so I do EVERYTHING around the house. He only needs to focus on his work and his 'fun stuff' (that never includes me). I stay because as the person who's done everything for my 6-year old daughter, I can't imagine not seeing her 50% of the time. It makes me physically ill to even think about it. My husband's brother just divorced and settled for seeing the kids less than 50% of the time and my husband thought that was awful and unfair. So I know he wouldn't be happy with less than 50% of our daughter's time. And he's a good dad, but has a history of being way too critical of people and having such high (impossible to meet) expectations of people that it has ruined many of his close relationships. There are many times that I'm a buffer between him and our daughter when he's going overboard with expectations for her.<br />So I'm scared to (a) leave her without that buffer 50% of the time, and (b) be without her 50% of the time. And I know that she wouldn't want to be without me 50% of the time.<br /><br />Good lord, I had no intention of being this wordy. Essentially my question is - I can tell you LOVE your kids like crazy. How did you manage in those early days/weeks/months to let them go? Did they miss you? Do you feel comfortable with them in ex's care?<br /><br />Again, sorry for all this. I really admire how you've handled yourself through your divorce, and am so happy that you're getting your 'happily ever after'.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-63845817675378576252012-01-25T11:11:37.661-08:002012-01-25T11:11:37.661-08:00You and I have discussed this at length, but here&...You and I have discussed this at length, but here's one thing I will add...<br /><br />No one gets the fear of turning over your kids to someone who is "against" you than me. Not just their father, but their soon-to-be-stepmother, get their kicks from acting out against me (as we all know). It's truly awful to think of the manipulation that goes on, out of my control, every other weekend. <br /><br />But here's how I reframe it - just like I can't control what he does with his money, what he feeds them, who he brings them around, what he does and does not hold them accountable for when they are with him...I can't control how he feels about me. It's an illusion to think that if you just don't antagonize your ex, he'll "like" you more, and thus your kids will have a buffer. He's going to feel how he feels about you. You have to do what is right.<br /><br />And what is right is standing up for yourself. <br /><br />Hope this helps reframe, just a bit.Minivan momhttp://morethanaminivanmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7909767894013061203.post-50967883863523611292012-01-25T07:57:17.854-08:002012-01-25T07:57:17.854-08:00as you should. it's not an easy choice, but b...as you should. it's not an easy choice, but breaking old patterns isn't easy. good for you!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04845645690598575057noreply@blogger.com