Monday, October 4, 2010

Where is this going?

I don't have anything to write about.

I have such a great life. I really sit back every single loving day in total awe, marveling at how this fairytale became reality.

My kids love Mr. Wonderful so much. My youngest is already telling her teachers that he is her stepdad. She asked him if he would go ahead and be her stepdad now, and lord, how could he refuse that.

Mr. Wonderful LOVES ME. I don't know why this is so damn hard for me to believe. It's not that I don't think I'm worth loving. I just never thought I'd find anyone who would recognize it. This man would do anything for me, for us.

Somehow, my business continues to thrive, even though I pay it so very little attention. I am supporting myself completely with no debts and no help besides the most measly little child support checks from the ex that don't even pay for 1 week of groceries.

These three kiddos seem to be doing great. Good grades, thriving at school, lots of friends, well-adjusted. Aside from wanting my pulled-too-many-directions-attention, they are just doing SO GREAT.

I even have a brand new kitchen. Mr. Wonderful decided he wanted to invest in the home that he'd be living in soon, and we gave it a facelift this weekend. I say we, but all I really did was make decisions and watch tv while he did all the work. I know. If I were you I'd hate me too.

I only write this because I've only ever written out of misery before. I kind of don't know what to write about anymore. I've found myself, I've found my kids, I've found my soulmate, and other than having the typical complaints of a single mom (who really has some help now), I've got nothin.

My greatest hope is that this blog has and will serve as a road map for others in similar situations (like my close friend is right now) and provide some sort of insight into a journey that is so scary but the best you'll ever travel.

I guess I'll be focusing upcoming posts on things like wedding plans and step-parenting as well as continue to write about myself and my continuing journey to bettering myself, as that is a journey I want to continue until my final days.

If anyone out there needs help or has questions about divorce or single motherhood, I encourage you to leave a comment and I can answer it to my best ability for you. I'm only an expert by experience but I would love to help or offer encouragement where I can.


  1. I just want to tell you how incredibly happy this makes me. I have been reading for somtime now as you know and this all gives me chills of happiness for you! You did all of this and deserve the best. So Woot woot!!!!!!

  2. I have been reading your blog for a while now as well. I am so happy for your family and pleased your children are thriving despite all they have been through. Congrats!

  3. I've followed your friends since Allie. At that point in time I was a pregnant, happily married woman. Now I'm the mother of a 5 year old who's marriage appears to be crumbling. We're in counselling and we're trying, and I'm confident we will try until it gets better or until we can't try anymore.

    I've also been working on *myself*... obviously... if you're going to make an honest-to-goodness effort there's always self-work to do. And what I've been discovering is my worth. I lost a lot of that along the way. And suddenly when I imagine our marriage ending, it's not always because he decides I'm not good enough. Sometimes now I realize that I may one day decide that I deserve more. More respect, more honesty, more forgiveness, more fun, more love.

    So while I still scared (SO SCARED), you give me such hope. Please don't stop writing.