Monday, October 29, 2012

"Don't Be So Hard On Yourself"

When your own mind is your greatest enemy...

When other people's big moments are overshadowed by your own flaws...

When no one around you can take it anymore...

When you realize for the first time that you don't know if it is going to get better instead of worse...

When your brain is so fired up that you can't sleep....

When nothing you are trying seems to be working...

When your biggest struggle during the day is to get your thoughts under control...

When you're sick of explaining and excusing your fuck ups...

When you're sick of your body failing...

When the thing you hear the most is "don't be so hard on yourself"...

When you feel weird and freakish around "normal" people because you just can't get it together...

When the ones you love say they miss the old you, the joyful happy version...

When out of nowhere chemicals in your brain decide to take over and slam you into the ground...

When you feel completely alone...




This is where I am today. This is my low. I'll move along, I'll get through. I'm tired of mental illness.




I'm just so fucking tired of it.

5 comments:

  1. oh,deanna...i hope you find peace soon...
    hugs...deb

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  2. Love you D, I am so sorry you are hurting :(

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  3. I'm so sorry - I hope that you find that happy hum and get back to "normal" life soon. You deserve to be happy - don't ever believe otherwise! Big HUGS to you!!!
    A reader from afar (S Carolina)
    Jenng

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  4. I understand more than you know. After a lifetime of self-inflicted screw ups and hurt, I recently found out I have more than just depression. I have (mild) bipolar disorder. A blessing in that I can finally treat what's really wrong with me, but a curse just the same. I never knew one could be bipolar without the manic highs, I get the angry aggressive type. Good luck to you in healing your hurts, don't stop seeking treatment until you KNOW you are feeling better.

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