Wednesday, March 13, 2013


Over the past six months I've been trying to live and grow in the philosophies of the great spiritual teachers to find enlightenment and peace.

This past week, we met my husband at a campsite in a state park that is quite literally in the middle of nowhere.

There is no 4G, barely any cel phone reception, and if you want wireless internet, you have to drive to it.

He stayed for a week on his own to gather his own thoughts about an upcoming project and to find his own clarity. He found it, and was so inspired by the time we met him there that I think his whole demeanor actually changed.

How could camping do this to a person? We'd been camping a number of times before, it's not like this was new.

But we've both been on this spiritual journey together, and this time maybe it was just the right time for us.

We disconnected from the internet and our phones, and therefore, the world. Nothing was reality and nothing mattered except what was right in front of us, and that was gorgeous scenery, the elements, and our children.

There were no problems except how cold it was, if our business was holding up ok back home on its own with just a few quick 15 minute check-ins each morning, how the kids were doing, did we have enough food, and what could we explore next?

My teen son didn't check Facebook or his cel-phone once. We sat across a campfire together and laughed. We challenged each other to push-up contests. I carried my 6 year old daughter down a mountain after she so bravely climbed to the top herself.

During the course of the trip, I answered one phone call, and one text - from my 83 year old grandmother and from my mom.

I evaluated my relationship with my husband and determined that we have created so much more than a marriage, but a spiritual partnership that is a force of nature.

This trip was perfection in so many ways, but the most important way was that it accelerated a journey that I was already on and brought clarity to thoughts I was already having.

Life isn't about running around and being busy, or struggling, or being the best, or having it all.

Life is about living.

And the "problems" of every day? Self-created dramas that disappear when you disconnect.

I'm so thankful to be learning these lessons at only 36 years old. I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to teach them to my children.

I'm so happy to be exactly where I am at this moment.


  1. I just found your blog and I am so happy that I did. I have not started my physical separation process yet, but it will be soon. I have two small kids. I am in my early 30's and I am terrified of all of this. Thank you for giving me the strength and courage to move forward and realize this is the right think to do. I wish you lived by me and we could meet face to face!

  2. Hi-I got goosebumps when I read this, thinking back to when I was in your exact situation. I promise you will be ok, and some of the greatest things come right after we are the most scared we've ever been. Sending you good vibes and thoughts of strength...

  3. Do you still have "what ifs?" How have your kids adjusted to everything now that some time has gone by, especially the youngest. If you want to PM me let me know and I will give you my contact. I have so many questions.

    1. Hi-I'd be happy to chat--email me

      My youngest is the most adjusted of the three kids, she was 18 months old when we finally separated (after almost 2 years of trying to work it out, he was cheating the whole time) She has had my husband in her life since she was 3 and he is just as much her daddy as her father. My oldest (14) had the biggest struggle, and my 10 year old daughter is now struggling with her father pulling away. But for the most part, everyone is fantastic and we have a very happy life. They all went to play therapy for a year or so and that definitely helped them to process it all.

    2. Also--I don't have any what-ifs. The only what-if I ever experience is the sheer terror at how close I came to being with the wrong person for the rest of my life (see my new post)