Soooo much to catch up on, blogging time during the summer with all three kids home all day long is becoming quite the luxury.
Well MONDAY is the big day. The divorce petition is all prepared, and on Monday one of my best friends will be accompanying me to the courthouse to file it.
We think that once I file, the divorce will be final within 60 days. That's just a couple of weeks before my 33rd birthday, and will make just over a year since our separation.
I am excited, nervous, emotional, hopeful, restless...so many emotions that I couldn't begin to pick just one.
For one, dating is knocking on my door. I am meeting guys when I go out, I've exchanged numbers, I've done a little kissing, but I am not serious about any of it. I'm ready to jump in, to really get out there and have some fun without "separated" hanging over my head. I'm ready for the legal world to acknowledge what I've known for a very long time: that I am no longer married or bound to this man.
Speaking of the man, Wednesday I called him to let him know that I was preparing the papers. Long story short, we decided a few weeks ago that it made the most sense to file a no fault divorce ourselves, as going through lawyers with even the simplest of cases would cost thousands and thousands. The only thing we had not discussed was child support. After a very intense few days of back and forth and heated conversations, we finally came to a compromise that we both felt comfortable with. It was a very upsetting week and I ended up sick for the majority of the week from the stress (that and my Dad had yet another surgery today).
Filling out the paperwork was much more emotional than I expected. Here is some of the wording:
The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personality which destroys the legitimate ends of the marriage relationship and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation.
I'm sure it just gets harder from here until everything is final. I'm tired of anticipating it and just want to just get it over with.
We haven't told the kids yet. They have asked, and we haven't been prepared to answer. I won't put it off much longer. I don't think they will be surprised at all, but it still won't be easy to hear. Maybe part of them still holds onto some hope, I don't know. Maybe they will be as relieved as I am that the limbo part is over and we can all move on. Either way, I dread it.