Monday, March 2, 2009

One more important thing...

As I told my friend this evening when she questioned me about why I had twittered "BOYS SUCK"...

I have dipped my big toe in the pool of dating, it was freezing, and I won't be going back in anytime soon.

After the last fiasco with Boy #1 not calling me, I had decided Saturday that I was going to have a fabulous night out with my best friend. I planned our evening out with great care...good movie, good food, good music, good wine. I had forgotten all about the week and was super excited to have our night out.

Earlier in the day, my bed frame split down the middle. I decided to go that afternoon and find a new bed ASAP. At one of the furniture stores, a sales guy was flirting with me. He was about my age, cute, and really funny. He got my info for a "contest" the store was having to win $1000 in furniture. I really truly didn't think anything of it, left, and didn't think about it again.

At dinner that night, I had a text from a number I didn't recognize. It was him. He had gotten my cel # off the contest entry. We had a fun, witty banter back and forth via text about me not buying a bed from him. The next day, more texting. And then today texting almost all day. Today's texting was less fun and teasing and more "What kinds of movies do you like?" and he asked about my divorce situation, and my kids. I totally thought he was about to ask me out, and I was trying to decide what to do. I had decided that he seemed really safe, interested in me as a person, and possibly one of the "good ones" that everyone keeps insisting are out there.

Then out of nowhere, he said "One more thing I have to tell you that's important" . You can guess what the next line was.

Girlfriend of 5 years. He asked if I thought it was wrong of him to flirt? I said "YES IT IS" and then "You're asking the wrong person anyways considering I just left a marriage of infidelity". He asked if this meant we had to quit texting. DUH

He then proceeded to try and convince me that he would never cheat and that he was an honest person. Riiiiiight.


Who are these men? Why does it seem like the guys I attract all REALLY enjoy that I like them, and REALLY want me to be attracted to them, but have no intention of honoring or respecting me (even in just respecting me enough to tell me right off the bat that you're not available instead of sending me flirtatious texts)??

Lesson learned I guess. I just don't trust men. Not yet. Maybe never. I hope that is not the case, but this is what keeps being thrown my way and ummm, no thanks!

No worries, I'm fine, I'm not letting it ruin my happiness, it just threw me for a big loop and opened my eyes. I'll admit to being shaken up about it when it happened, but only because it was like this tiny little version of my marriage...someone not being authentic about who they really are. This happened to me in my childhood too with someone very important in my life. It's a pattern.

One that has to be broken.


  1. Okay, I swear I say this not to just placate you or make you feel better, but I think it's just that there is a high percentage of asshole guys, NOT that there is something about you that is attracting this type of person. I think you're drinking too much of the "Secret" koolaid, thinking that you are responsible for everything that is drawn to you. :)

    I think you are an incredibly independent and strong woman to have navigated everything that's happened in the past couple years with such grace, and there WILL be a "good" guy who is worthy of that. Unfortunately, I also believe that there are a lot of fucktards out there, and it takes awhile to find a good one.

    Hang in there!

  2. Hi,
    I'd really like to email you to ask a question - I may be going down the same road you're on and I don't really know of anyone in real life that's gone through it....and need someone....I don't want to put my email address on here so it will be posted to the world - but I'd love to give it to you....what to do?

  3. Hi Anonymous, Yes please email me anytime!

  4. There's a little something to bright'n your day at your front door...hope your dad's procedure goes smoothly on Tuesday. :}

  5. singleworkingmommyMarch 12, 2009 at 8:47 PM

    Ew. No wonder you said Boys Suck... EW.