Thursday, May 21, 2009

Things are finally starting to feel somewhat normal again.

Dad is doing better, I'm trying not to talk about it too much and jinx him, but things may be turning around, finally, after two months of this.

I'm feeling good again. I'm not at the level I was before all of this happened, but I'm definetly experiencing joy again. For example, last night I went to visit Dad, and while I was leaving I saw that a close friend was looking for someone to go to a concert with her at the last minute. The band was the Indigo Girls, whom I have never really listened to but can appreciate, and I knew I'd feel out of place as a soccer mom in a room with 99% college-aged lesbians, but decided why not? So I went with her, and ended up feeling SO comfortable, way more comfortable than I do at a bar or a club. Because there was no pressure, because there was so much love in the room, because I was 10 feet away from musical legends, because my friend was so happy that I was there with her, I don't know what it was. But I enjoyed every second of it, stepping outside of my comfort zone and giving it a shot. So glad I did.

I'm also working again and getting busy with clients, which is good. I've been exploring some new options with my business and feel really good about the direction I'm heading.

I still haven't officially filed for divorce. I know the original plan was to get through Dad's surgery, and obviously that plan was derailed. But again, what's the rush....I'm not dating, don't want to date, I will be without health insurance once it's final, and it's going to be emotional (and I am just all tapped out.) In my head, this summer will be the one year anniversary of our separation, and I think that will be an appropriate time. The lawyer has the paperwork on hand ready to go, all I have to do is say the word. If anyone has advice about the health insurance thing, I'd be happy to hear it.

That's all, just wanted to check in and say things are getting better :)

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