I seem to be emerging somewhat from my funk. THANK GOD.
No slaps to the face this week or huge lifechanging news, other than the news that they will operate on my father's tumor. I had wondered if that would change things for me, and I think it certainly helped.
I've got to find a way to enjoy my life again. Like I said in my last post, I can't keep just "surviving". I feel like I've spent my whole life doing just that, and I want more.
For one thing, I am seriously going to jump back into work this week. I hate to, but it's a part of me, and besides that I am running out of money :)
I'm going to look at changing some things up in my business that will make me happier. I have a few ideas. It's a nice perk to being your own boss.
I'm going to continue exercising this week. Since I am going back to work it will be easier for me to envision when I can fit it in. I've got to think of it as a natural solution for getting rid of my anxiety. My body is so stressed and tense that when I lay down, I'm half off the bed. I am getting near-migraines from grinding my teeth. Working out is going to help take care of that extra energy, I hope.
I'm going out with my girlfriends this week and I am really looking forward to that. The more giggling and laughter I can fit into my week, the better off I am.
I am going to finish packing up my husband's things this week and get his presence completely out of this house.
I'm going to find a way to treat myself this week. (pedicure? massage?)
This weekend I took myself out to eat (I stopped calling it eating alone), read a book at the restaurant for 4 hours straight, rented movies I have wanted to see, and then slept til noon.
Something we talked about tonight at our Divorce Recovery Group was intention. You cannot just glide through a divorce or through grief. You have to have intention to get through it, you have to make an effort. I don't want to walk through my life like a zombie, just dodging hits as they come. The best revenge is a life well lived, and if it kills me, I'm going to figure out how to do that.