It was a GREAT day. Friday night my kids and I had our own little dinner together, I gave them Valentines from me, and then we snuggled up together in the living room and watched a movie/ate cupcakes. Saturday morning they left with their Dad to go to an out of town family get together.
My best friend came over and we went to a movie theater that is also a restaurant. We saw Confessions of a Shopaholic while sipping cosmos.
Afterwards we headed back to my house to meet up with two more girlfriends, and we headed over to get foot and back massages at my favorite reflexology place. We brought champagne and chocolates, and relaxed and indulged...heaven.
We then headed back over to my house and got ready for dinner as if we were going to the prom. We got dressed up, took pictures, and showed up for our reservation fashionably late :)
Dinner was amazing. We had a five course meal complete with champagne, and it was exquisite from start to finish. We laughed and scoped out the restaurant (which becomes a lounge/club at 10:30), and I marveled at how differently my Valentine's was turning out to be than I ever would have expected.
After dinner we headed downstairs to the lounge to mingle. A couple of drinks later and we were out on the dancefloor, cutting loose and having a great time. The music was loud and super fun, the atmosphere was entertaining...lots of couples there but we kept our eyes ahead on each other, or made gagging faces behind the couples' backs. Very mature, I know!
Before we went out I made a plan with myself. I knew that there was the potential to meet men that night, and I needed a plan for what would happen if I did. I decided that a little attention and innocent dancing and talking would be ok, nothing more. Even though my husband did not respect our marriage even when we were together, I wanted to be able to say I was always respectful of it, even though it is now only technically not over. It's what I could live with and still feel like a good person.
I actually met a guy, we danced together a little bit and then went outside and talked/laughed for most of the evening. It was exactly what I wanted--just a little attention, nothing over the top or heavy. He was 6 years younger than me, adorable, and so incredibly respectful. After the club closed we hung out with a big group of people. I did tell him my situation, showed him pictures of my kids, and let him know where I was at. At the end of the night, he did get my number. I'm not sure if he'll call me and I'm almost hoping he doesn't, because I'll have to tell him we can only be friends...and then I'll have to actually DO that :)
It was just really nice to have the attention and a little bit of human touch without any drama or heaviness. I think it's what I needed right now.
Today I woke up with a smile on my face for the first time in a really long time. I am loving this freedom, the new love affair that I am having with myself. I am treating myself the way that I have deserved to be treated all along, and I want it to be like this forever. Til death do us part, myself and I :)